2011
04.26

Sharp Turn In The Road

Well I did it, I got behind a decision that feels right and pulled the trigger, The Empress Of 7th St is officially on the market. She is primed and ready to be rebuilt, by someone else. I have felt confused for a long time about the right action. When I bought her, she seemed filled with promise, a home to build and inhabit, a long term rental investment, a project to share. And at first it all worked beautifully. And then it didn’t. And I’ve struggled with being in the flow of it ever since. Getting it though the city was difficult, dealing with a breakup, well, heartbreaking, and then trying to get bids and strategically plan out her resurrection just has been a long slog. I believe the right person will come along and swoop her up and make her a home. I look forward to seeing that happen. It feels good to let her go and lean into the mystery of what’s next for me.

156 7th St House

Right now my whole system craves being in a supportive easy environment where I don’t need to manage any one’s expectations or needs – including my own. I think a while of that will suite me just fine. Notice the evasive time line?

I’ve loved the short term intensive work of readying clients homes for the market. It’s fun to be in and out quickly and transform houses and prospects. I am so happy to be getting work with clients I enjoy so much. I hope to a lot more of it. I love design and music and look forward to being in the place of real receptivity for a new musical project, and eventually a life partner. It’s just not quite yet.

So, here I am in the midst of change, again, or maybe it’s really just a continuum. If you know some one looking for a great investment, pass on the craigslist link above.

 

Thanks for listening,

Annie

 

2011
03.27

Today’s early morning breeze brought the smell of Daphne and the first hint of wild plum blossoms wafting by. It lifted my spirit to breath in the wild return of Spring. Of warmth returning and life erupting in fragrant bowers… and then came more of the rain and snow. It’s early Spring in the mountains, and mercurial as hell.

Speaking of mercurial, I am weighing out the 7th St house possibilities – finish it and rent out, sell as is, with completed building plans, travel and come back to it. I just don’t know what feels right, or the rightest. My being is suffused with an urge to go. Go somewhere and retreat, relax, rejuvenate, and restore myself.  I easily imagine writing music, reading books, lounging under a warm sun and swimming in a clear sea. Mmmm. So I am mulling over possibilities, dipping my theoretic toes in to differing scenarios and seeing what pulls my internal keel, so to speak.

Meanwhile I have been helping a design client ready her house to sell. I’ve been coordinating plaster, drywall, paint, metal fabrication, master bath renovation, tile, counter tops and cabinets. Choosing color, and surface finishes for all of it. It’s been fun to have a tight deadline and push a lot of work through many stages, with a lot of great guys on different crews. I love the challenge and the pace.

So here’s a toast to change and transformation – slàinte mohair.
I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Vernal

Peeling off
The rind of this earthbound moment
The sharp sweet tang of spring’s return
Growing to the end
Evidentially and eventually
To be tilled under again, and again

Cycles recycled in light and dark
Death and birth
The vernal promenade
Of those Pleiades etched on velvet
Of tree rings, tides, typhoons and the
Illumination of this night’s full moon

Endings and beginnings
Hand-fasted
In a Möbius strip
This prayer of constantly releasing
Not taking up more
But, of letting go of my grip
AM – March 19, 2011

Thanks for listening

Annie xo

2011
02.23

Progress can be measured in the amount of movement one makes…right? Or maybe not. Especially when one is stepping sideways, lurching backwards and tripping vaguely in the right direction like some drunken dancer staggering on the warped floorboards of an old saloon.

I know I have made change. And not the pocket kind, smart-assed reader. (I can almost see you smirking.) I’ve changed walls and views and dreams and all kinds of things. If not careful, I might make myself maudlin – again. At times I am so overwhelmed I want to sink, back against a wall and sob. Sometimes I push myself up very steep hills to overcome frustration and sometimes it catches up with me anyway. I have to say, crying and hiking can be cathartic, in a twisted sort of epiphany producing way. Other times I just go at it, one room at a time and it’s all okay. But, I digress, good change really is happening. Really. Here are the latest 7th St. pictures.

Crocus have popped their bright heads though the frozen soil. I have inched further from heartbreak, teetering on this fine edge of progress and evaporating grief, doing my best to move forward, one foot at a fucking time. My house is in a lot of pieces, some scattered at the dump, while others lay neatly or not so neatly stacked awaiting reincarnation, evolution, or recycling.

It seems to be an appropriate analogy, the demolition of a house. Tearing away the old and rotten, revealing the parts worth keeping, hauling off the trash, repairing, redesigning, and rebuilding. I am really looking forward to that part, maybe even that part being done!

In this very moment I am tired and want to be whisked away to some soul soothing situation, but then reality settles in, and I know I just need to keep moving, even if it’s slowly, or sideways, kinda like a shark.

Soon I will possess a building permit (cross fingers here) The design is finished, although the finishes aren’t chosen; that will be the fun part. I can’t wait to see framing crews, electricians, plumbers and the drywalls guys. I need to get busy and get bids!

Music has been slowly reviving it’s self within me, like those bulbs pushing up through the frozen soil. My internal drive has changed, I’m not as interested in conquering the world as I used to be, I am more interested in having fun, connecting with the heart of a song, fellow musicians and an audience. I really miss it.

I mentioned a saloon in the first paragraph, and not by accident. I used to go to The Saloon in North Beach and see Johnny Nitro and The Door Slammers once, and sometimes twice a week with two wonderful girlfriends. We would dance till closing time in the crowded gritty bar on Grant St. Johnny became a friend, and then a mentor as I learned to sing and perform. He guided me, teaching me how to communicate to the other musicians on stage, learning key signatures, breaks, solos and endings. Johnny produced my first CD. He was wonderful to work with. He always invited me up to sing with him whenever I visited. I know he did this for a lot of aspiring, and professional musicians. He was a generous man, with a kind, if not a theatrically lecherous heart. I will miss him and the constancy of his gigging. I could always count on him being there in the San Francisco night, loudly playing to a happy packed house full of fans, both new and old. He’d say “keep drinking triples till you’re seeing double, feeling single and getting in trouble, and if you’ve had too many, have two more.” Rest in peace Johnny, you will be sorely missed.

Thanks for listening,

Annie xox

2011
01.13

And now - the view from here:

I was with some wonderful women friends last weekend. One said, “it seems like we are either living and moving through reconstruction or deconstruction in our lives.” I have to say, I agree.

I’m at yet another crossroad myself. A juncture of what was and what will be, inward turnings and dismantlement, coupled with building a solo life and a new house. I’ve been documenting the change through photographs, and poetry. I’ve been hiking and hauling bricks to heal a bruised heart, and am busting ass on a big project for distraction and future investment.

The back of the original wallpaper from 7th St.

The house on 7th Street is coming along! I’ve submitted both the pre-application, and then the application to the city of Ashland, to change the 1800 sq ft single family home into a duplex with a third unit in the back. This includes over 7 pages of plans, and addresses the all the proposed changes to the property. Now it’s a six to eight week wait to find out if it passes through the city’s process. When it does, I will receive my building permits and be on my way! Cross your fingers for me. For pictures of the project you can visit here.

I’ve been doing the majority of the demolition in the house on my own. It’s an interesting process taking away the 50′s and 60′s ugliness of what was, and revealing the beauty of the original 1902 building. I’ve removed false ceilings, horrid pine wainscoting, textured wall board and old linoleum. I discovered that there is no lathe and plaster, nor drywall and not a shred of insulation. Instead I revealed the original wallpaper covered wooden walls. The heat when on, loses about a degree a minute, once turned off. I have dismantled three defunct chimneys and hauled galvanized buckets of bricks across attics and down ladders. I’ve been to the dump in my new to me truck – Larry The Lush (who guzzles gas like crazy), several times. I’ve endured a hard holiday season, and an unfortunate break up, and the beginnings of a reconfiguration of that wonderful relationship into something else. I’ve lost my business partners as well, and after all that, I am still standing, a bit wobbly, but upright, if just. No, that’s an exaggeration, I am strong and capable, and have learned something from all of it. There is a small part of me that wants to run off into the wild blue yonder, preferably a tropical one with a calm sandy beach, clear water and no complications. But, that said, I’d be there, and there in lies the problem. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to take a conscious vacation from yourself?

So in the mean time, I am dismantling a house and some old parts of myself and attempting to put both back together in some sort of new, stronger and hopefully more beautiful order. One that serves a good purpose in the world and brings some joy floating back in on this tide of change. Cause that’s the constant, oh ya that, and maybe surrender. So in the mean time, as I heal both heart and home, it’s one foot in front of the other and life continues.

Larry The Lush

Here’s a poem from my new slightly existentialist self.

Dark Mobile
The Calder hangs and pivots
Catching just enough shadow
To glimpse metal as it bows back
Swallowed by the dark

Pirouetting from the brush
Of breath across it’s skin
Returning to the void
To spin silently against that emptiness

Then it rotates again
A glimmering in the dark
Rorschach-ian thoughts float there
Like battered butterflies

Rising and falling
On internal thermals
Spinning out like me
As I reach for self understanding

Calder

2010
10.13

Okay, so I confess I’m excited. I love the turn of this season, and the unexpected turn of events in my life. Sometimes you just get clear signals and then you’re back in the flow, and life is sweet, succulent and beautiful. Now is one of those times.

7th St interior main house

This last sleepy Sunday afternoon I was walking along with my guy and we spied a house with a for sale sign. Always curious, we checked it out. That led to a call to my mom to come see it, and that led to the Realtor showing it to us, and an offer and then a counter offer and an acceptance and now within 24 hours I’m in contract to buy my next place. Like I said I’m excited!

7th St House

I am also really excited about getting back to the work of design. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to keep making music and writing poetry.  But right now, with the exception of the Mistress Mind book that I am co-writing,  I want to immerse myself into the world of color, texture, light, surfaces, design, organization, staging, de-cluttering, choosing clothing and clearing closets for structures and people.

When my band AnnieMac was running strong I stepped away from this other love of mine. Then, not knowing if I was sticking around the Rogue Valley, I took my hands off the McIntyre Interiors wheel. I want you to know, they are firmly back on. I can’t wait to have fun with transformation of clients homes and wardrobes.

So you will be reading more about color, light, design, texture, and their effects on me, and the design projects I’m working on. I will be doing lots of before, during and after pictures of my own project. My web page for McIntyre Interiors is under construction by Align: Visual Arts and Communication. Jeff Altemus rocks by the way, so if you need any graphic design work, look him up!

I will soon be teaching new McIntyre Interiors classes on:

  • Architectural color and your space
  • Personal color – Relating you to clothing and your home
  • Interior Design – Design fundamentals + hands on learning
  • Recession Proof Design – Long lasting inexpensive solutions & change
  • Surfaces and textures – The where, and why of them
  • Curb Appeal – How to get it for your own home – hands on class
  • Clothing discernment for your style & body – Get it right the first time!
  • And a few other classes I’m dreaming up

Thanks to my wonderful friends Pete and Niki I have all the measurements done for the plans. Today I meet with the City of Ashland, a contractor friend and a draftsman. Forward progress! Like I said at the beginning, I’m excited!

Thanks for listening!

Lots of love,

Annie

2010
10.08

I feel like a leaf swept, uplifted and tumbling down my October street, by a soft wind stirred with a twisted ram’s horn, a mix of cornucopia and calliope.

Autumn Heart

I join all the other leaves that have changed into their bright and fluid colors – Our chlorophyll dissipating, leaving behind the ruby reds, fire, and burnt orange, canary and burgundy, tannin and suede. Beauty in transition, and transformation of another sort. We are all going through it – right?

Gilded Goat

I had been waiting for my internal gong to ring out a sound that would give me certainty in my direction. And it happened. I’m left resonating with the desire and pull to replant myself here, and really live where I’m at in this moment, in Ashland, Oregon.

I want. I want to make plans and stick to them. I want to create work that moves me and is in service to my community. I want a home again that I can fill with friends and music and art and parties and food and happiness. I want to write and perform music and poetry. And change people’s lives with design and color. The love I had is now reclaimed and reframed and beautiful to behold. Life has surprised the hell out of me – how cool is that?

It’s good to come to this turning, to this place in my life where I can see possibilities again. Where I can lean into love and see where it leads me. As you know if you’ve been following along, I’ve been through a big personal change cycle, it might have been labeled spin, or tumble. But I think better yet, it could just be labeled good, necessary change and growth.

Yee haaa

I’ve had the image of Slim Pickens as Major T.J.”King” Kong in Dr. Strangelove in my head for the last month or so – him riding that rocket and swinging his cowboy hat around yelling yeehaw, waaa hooo. There is a certain joy in the surrender to whatever the fates have provided, even if it’s in the face of destruction. The flip side in my experience, is that the old is new again, different, challenging, and even beautiful. So many of my dear friends have been going through huge changes too. If I might, and it doesn’t sound too presumptuous, I say congratulations and then surrender – it’s what worked for me. Hang on, it’s one hell of a ride.

And now to what’s next. I am available for interior design, color consults both personal and architectural, and music. Lets talk! You can see some of my design work here -
McIntyre Interiors. My new web page is will be finished soon.

I am teaching design and color classes. You can get a room redone in your house during the hands on class. I am also available to go through your closet with you, and leave behind only the things that you look and feel stunning  in. I can also do your personal colors, this leaves you with a fan deck that is distilled from over 1500 colors and made specifically for you. I can accompany you to the clothing stores of your choice and help you chose perfect outfits for everyday or special occasions. I can teach you to use your fan deck or just help you with choices. I love consignment, thrift and high-end boutiques – your choice, your price line.

I look forward to singing and playing and design and all that my wonderful community and friends have to offer. Lucky me!

Thanks for listening,

Annie xox

2010
09.08

I’ve been back from Burning Man for two days, well to be accurate, a day and a half. The Playa has once again left it’s indelible mark on me. I am changed again by the chaos, noise, beauty, creativity, survival and the love of an amazing community.

I diligently did my homework. The star was painted on my belly Tuesday morning by Kia my wonderful camp mate. I listened for the yes that came from there, and found a certain peace in the exercise. Whenever I became conflicted or confused, I dropped down and in, and listened for the yes that would resonate from there. It was an amazing practice, that takes practice.

Hanging out in Pinkalicious

This year for me was all about release (go figure). I planted my flag of surrender on the alkali flats and laid down my story and burden of the last year and a half and started again renewed, refreshed and revitalized. I dreamt amazing dreams in my flapping dusty tent that changed my outlook on life. I met people and saw things that swept me clean. I cycled deliberately through thick veils of white dust that played hide and seek with my sense of direction and vision and came out the other side just where I needed to be.

The Playa is one of those places where manifestation seems to come easy. You think of something you need and it appears. Hot? Someone hands you a shaved ice or a cool wet cloth to wipe your brow. Cold? You get offered furry pants or a funny warm hat. Words of wisdom? There they are, right at your sight line written on a wall of a temple. There are smiles of glorious proportions, tears of great loss and people pogo-ing up and down in sheer joy and happiness. You’re exhausted and run into your friends in the middle of the night and get to camp with them. You also get to ride on their amazing art car! There is art that isn’t lost in the grand landscape, there is music both fine, and horrible. And yes, there are also the assholes camped out next door to remind you that there is always something more to learn, and more to tolerate.

Playa FLowers

Playa FLowers

I decided that I would gift copies of my CD Ignition this year. It was fun to respond from my gut and give it away to strangers that I met in moments, most likely never to be seen again. I loved seeing their reactions. And I hope that they enjoyed listening to it.

Water is for Pussies

I am so glad I went, and so happy that I removed the great weight from my shoulders. I still have no idea where I am headed, but I know that I am loved and cared for, that everything will work it’s self out, and that deep down I am a happy woman. I also know that when the time is right, I will meet an amazing man and have a blast exploring both the inner and outer worlds together.

The last thing I wrote on the temple before it burned was: And the wind will caress me. And the earth will hold me up. And the stars will shine upon me. And I will be filled with love.

Stop and be Thankful

And it’s true. The night of both burns were magical. But the burning of the Temple was both poignant and powerful. Towards the end I stood next to the hot glowing embers surrounded by those I love and it was beautiful. Lucky me. I look forward to next year. Wow, I just typed that, right?

Thanks for listening,

Annie xox

2010
08.28

So, after days of digging through the chaos of storage, frequenting thrift stores in three states, and crossing things off my detailed check list, I am  ready for a week of self-reliance in the the Black Rock Desert… I am sure there is something that I’m forgetting… Just can’t think of what it is.

Camp Pinkalicious

Annie @ Bohemia Gig

My friend Kia, who was on my spring road trip, will be my camp mate. We are going as simply as possible (lol).

Our camp name is “Pinkalicious” I was inspired by Kia’s 1960′s era surplus parachute that has faded from it’s original red to a pink color. Which we are going to incorporate into our shade structure. She saw an outfit I wore to a burlesque gig and coined the word. I thought why not run with it. Pink is not a favorite color of either of ours, but what the hell, Pinkalicious it is!

So, with a borrowed pink and black leopard furred bike “Purrr Cilla” and the home work of “Paint a star on my belly button and live from there for the week.” It should be an amazing adventure. Black Rock City and Burning Man here we come ready or not!

This will be my fourth time on the playa. It’s been three years since my last visit, and my first time ever going single. Boy, this is suddenly sounding like some sort of confession… A friend asked “I am so interested to hear about your burning man experience. What are you seeking to get out of it?” and I answered “I am interested in inhabiting my entire self – all my aspects – as a integrated, creative, powerful woman. To move and make decisions from my center the entire week. And to seek and find a reconnection to myself through my participation in a epic event. I would love to find kindred souls to have fun with. To be open to extraordinary experiences, and be in bliss!” So that’s it…

I will take pictures, and if appropriate, I’ll tell a tale or two. But, don’t hold your breath! See ya back in this reality after September 7th.

All the best, and thanks for listening,

Annie xox

2010
08.21

From Wikipedia, Wanderlust:

Etymology: German, from wandern to wander + Lust desire, pleasure. Date: 1875
Placing the two words together translates to “to enjoy hiking”, although is commonly described as an enjoyment of strolling or wandering.

In German the term has become somewhat obsolete. A more contemporary equivalent for the English wanderlust in the sense of “love of travel” would be Fernweh (literally “an ache for the distance”).

I have been wandering around and over the hills of home, traipsing through the burnished bronze and blond grasses of summer. As well as through the tree lined valleys where my foot steps crush bay, eucalyptus, redwood, madrone, manzanita and sticky monkey flower under foot, releasing childhood memories of Mrs Terwilliger and her wonderful nature walks. She said “This is my country. Wherever I go, I will leave it more beautiful than I found it.” I studied at her knee when I was no more then knee high myself. She totally changed my world and the way I saw it. I became much more aware of my surroundings and developed a deep respect and appreciation for nature. It’s my church… other then music.

I’ve hiked every day but one in the last ten days. Two days, I’ve hiked twice! I’ve gotten insights into my own heart and into habits and pattens that needed unearthing. This wanderlust continues on with more travel to come.

Tomorrow I head back up to Ashland before my trip to Burning Man this year. Then I have no clue where I will go next. Kinda fun, kinda scary…

Last night I sat in with my friends  (W+T)J² at The Two Bird Cafe out in San Geronimo, CA . That’s Wendy Fitz, Tim Bush and friends. It was good to cut loose and sing!

More to come. Thanks for listening

Annie xox


2010
08.16

It happened today
It just seeped back in
Slyly, shyly
Undercover like a spy

It crept in almost without my
Awareness, and breathless
It bubbled up through cracks
And crevasses
So deep and dark
As to seem almost bottomless

Effervescent and sparkling
Dancing from the shadows
And out into the bright light
Happiness came back to me
A rebirth of delight

And what’s best of all
About the whole damn thing
This isn’t about anybody else
But me

Me Myself & I, Limantour Beach, Point Reyes, CA 8/16/10